This morning I took Andrew to basketball open gym at the middle school. Technically the program is for 7th graders, but incoming 6th graders , like Andrew, are welcome if they can take the heat of scrimmaging with the older boys.
Since Andrew will be new to the school (i.e. know very few people: like two or three girls, at the most), Eric and I both thought it would be a good idea for Andrew to take part. He’s a great athlete and a more than decent basketball player for his age, so why not?
As a parent, these things make sense—they feel logical. But when you are an 11 year old kid sitting in a car with your mom outside of a HUGE gym watching nameless boy after nameless boy confidently hop out of a nearby car and back slap a gaggle of other nameless boys… it can be a bit nerve-wracking. Intimidating. Scary.
How could I dare forget what it’s like to be the one that nobody knows…the one that doesn’t have a partner to smile at when you awkwardly miss a lay-up…the one that feels like the only outsider that EVER LIVED????
I’m sorry Andrew.
As his mom, I knew his personality, his smile, and his skills would earn him at least one friend by the end of the workout, but I admit that I blatantly overlooked what Andrew would have to go through to get that point—especially with a gym filled with mostly boys who recently put 6th grade behind them.
Since when did the litmus test for cool slide back down to middle school? It’s just too soon!! Between ages 11 and 14, we’re all awkward. By the standards of empirical science it’s been proven that our bodies AND our minds AND our souls are still evolving. In middle school we’re fragile pieces of tissue paper that can rip apart and blow away at the slightest wind.
“Let’s just hang back for a few.”
That’s what Andrew said as he watched the nameless boys.
My heart broke into a million pieces to see the angst in his face—to feel the uncertainty polluting the air I took into my body at each breathe.
There was nothing I could say to make the situation any better. He just needed to open the door, plunge into it.
He knew it too, but he waited it out a bit more.
I hit the button on the cd player, igniting the explicit version of The Next Episode by Dr Dre and Snoop Dog. Cuz what else can you do for a middle school boy getting ready to open the car door into his first test of cool vs. uncool, baller vs. wannabe, friend vs. nameless kid?
Middle school: it’s an urban war or sorts.
My nigga turn that shit up…
He tapped his foot.
And if yo ass get cracked, bitch shut your trap…
He laughed.
Whoopty whoop nigga what…
His head bobbed in time to the music.
Compton, Long Beach, Englewood…
The car door slammed. I watched his back as he entered the gym.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
President Barack Obama slept here
We spent the day at the pool, under the shade of a pool cabana, with nice, attentive service from a cabana waitress (Leela). Over the course of delivering lots of iced tea for me, Corona Light for Eric, and a barrage of junky stuff for the kids, Leela told us that President Obama stayed here two summers ago when he took his family to the Grand Canyon, and guess what? He stayed in our room--the jumbo suite with five TVs, three bathrooms, a fireplace, a grand piano...
Well, you know what I'm talking about because I posted it already.
We've spent most of day alternating between patting ourselves on the back or marveling over our luck at getting the biggest, most luxurious room in the hotel. And once we got tired of that, we started the game, "Did Obama Do That?"
It's pretty easy: I take a shower and then when I get out someone asks, "Do you think Obama used this shower when he was here?" Or, I make a phone call from our room to the front desk and someone will say, "I wonder if Obama used this phone?" Did Obama sit here? How about the First Lady? What about the girls? Did they sleep in the same bed where Andrew and Adrienne are sleeping?
This morning we found a kitchen behind a door we thought was a closet. That goes to show how big this place is.. And of course, the question came up: "Do you think the Obamas used this refrigerator?" Did they go to restaurants or did they have hotel staff (or secret service?) bring them food?
We've had several discussions about how cool it would be to be the president or a celebrity who has access to this kind of luxury all the time. But ultimately we all conceded that the loss of privacy-- the ability to sit in a pool cabana all day without a care from any other hotel guests about we are doing far outweighs constant access to luxury. And then Andrew noted that the responsibility of war is a huge price to pay for a 3000 square foot hotel suite that you might get anyway, if you're lucky--like us.
Well, you know what I'm talking about because I posted it already.
We've spent most of day alternating between patting ourselves on the back or marveling over our luck at getting the biggest, most luxurious room in the hotel. And once we got tired of that, we started the game, "Did Obama Do That?"
It's pretty easy: I take a shower and then when I get out someone asks, "Do you think Obama used this shower when he was here?" Or, I make a phone call from our room to the front desk and someone will say, "I wonder if Obama used this phone?" Did Obama sit here? How about the First Lady? What about the girls? Did they sleep in the same bed where Andrew and Adrienne are sleeping?
This morning we found a kitchen behind a door we thought was a closet. That goes to show how big this place is.. And of course, the question came up: "Do you think the Obamas used this refrigerator?" Did they go to restaurants or did they have hotel staff (or secret service?) bring them food?
We've had several discussions about how cool it would be to be the president or a celebrity who has access to this kind of luxury all the time. But ultimately we all conceded that the loss of privacy-- the ability to sit in a pool cabana all day without a care from any other hotel guests about we are doing far outweighs constant access to luxury. And then Andrew noted that the responsibility of war is a huge price to pay for a 3000 square foot hotel suite that you might get anyway, if you're lucky--like us.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Into the great wide open
I'm posting from my iPad so I won't be able to add pictures. Although later in the week I might have figured out a way to email from my phone to upload from there. But for now, I want to make sure I document as I go with text.
We left for Arizona this morning. Eric didn't want me to post that on the Internet even though we have someone physically staying at our house. He's paranoid of theft at all times, even when we're home, so I'm opening my big mouth anyway.
Our hotel, The Phoenician, is AWESOME!!!! AND... You wouldn't believe our luck... They upgraded us to The Presidential Suite which is about 3000 square feet. We have two bedrooms, a steam shower, a fireplace, a piano, three sitting rooms, five flat screen TVs, three bathrooms, a dining room with seating for 8, and a deck that stretches across the side of the building. It is the most incredible thing!
Here are two funny things about the upgrade:
1. On Wednesday, we'll be sleeping in a hole in the wall hotel on Route 66 followed by three nights in a small tent (more than likely Eric with Andrew in one tent and me with Adrienne in another) with our last night at a Courtyard at Marriott. And it's that way because that's the camping part of the trip. So, we definitely are in the lap of luxury right now.
2. Luxury upgrades don't happen to me everyday, but this has happened to me before. Yes, it's true. When I was pregnant with Adrienne it happened at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas. Eric and I were away for a weekend alone and the hotel was full. We'd been in the heat for hours even if we were by the pool. The front desk clerk felt sorry for my wilted hair and my pallid complexion combined with my baby bump. Maybe to rid us from the air-conditioned lobby or maybe she just felt sorry for us-- she put us in the Presidental Suite on the top floor with a full view of the strip, china service for 12, and a load of other luxurious amenities. Mostly, Eric and is at in the room listening to Harry Potter #4 taking full advantage if the Dolby surround sound. It was so wonderful.
So, here we are again in the lap of luxury. I am counting my blessings and feeling TOTALLY lucky!
We left for Arizona this morning. Eric didn't want me to post that on the Internet even though we have someone physically staying at our house. He's paranoid of theft at all times, even when we're home, so I'm opening my big mouth anyway.
Our hotel, The Phoenician, is AWESOME!!!! AND... You wouldn't believe our luck... They upgraded us to The Presidential Suite which is about 3000 square feet. We have two bedrooms, a steam shower, a fireplace, a piano, three sitting rooms, five flat screen TVs, three bathrooms, a dining room with seating for 8, and a deck that stretches across the side of the building. It is the most incredible thing!
Here are two funny things about the upgrade:
1. On Wednesday, we'll be sleeping in a hole in the wall hotel on Route 66 followed by three nights in a small tent (more than likely Eric with Andrew in one tent and me with Adrienne in another) with our last night at a Courtyard at Marriott. And it's that way because that's the camping part of the trip. So, we definitely are in the lap of luxury right now.
2. Luxury upgrades don't happen to me everyday, but this has happened to me before. Yes, it's true. When I was pregnant with Adrienne it happened at the Four Seasons in Las Vegas. Eric and I were away for a weekend alone and the hotel was full. We'd been in the heat for hours even if we were by the pool. The front desk clerk felt sorry for my wilted hair and my pallid complexion combined with my baby bump. Maybe to rid us from the air-conditioned lobby or maybe she just felt sorry for us-- she put us in the Presidental Suite on the top floor with a full view of the strip, china service for 12, and a load of other luxurious amenities. Mostly, Eric and is at in the room listening to Harry Potter #4 taking full advantage if the Dolby surround sound. It was so wonderful.
So, here we are again in the lap of luxury. I am counting my blessings and feeling TOTALLY lucky!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
One last thing about my birthday...
In preparation for the two and half days I’ll be lounging by the pool at a beautiful resort (see The Phoenecian), I got my nails done: fingers and toes!!
A mani/pedi combo defines luxury for me. And even though the color and perfection of my nails will be do me no good this time next week (remember the hiking/camping portion of the trip?), I went for it. Plus, I had a birthday gift certificate from a very generous friend.
While I was relaxing with my feet in the bubbly pool of warm water, thanking my friend for knowing THIS was just what I needed AND thanking the universe for giving me a FRIEND who knows THIS is just what I needed, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to let my birthday go just yet.
Besides posting my toes, there are a few special things I want to pass along—acts of kindness towards me on my birthday that deserve a little shout out.
I want to remember Adrienne’s gifts: how she went around the house and collected things that I already own and wrapped them up. She said, “Sometimes it’s fun to see your old stuff as new stuff.” I like that she is so effortlessly profound about a bar of soap from Pier One circa 2007, a mini notebook (already noted on several pages), a painted frame she gave me last year for Mother’s Day AND my 42nd birthday, and a Ziploc of gummi bears.
But then there was the note that she gave me that reminded me how she’s also effortlessly kind. She wrote me a happy birthday greeting and then had HER WHOLE 3rd GRADE CLASS sign too.
I want to remember the “Adopt-a-Pilot” assignment that Andrew did earlier in the year that just happened, on my birthday, to show up in his school “mail” (his homework and other class assignments from the previous week). Andrew was asked to identify a person in his life that reminds him of airline pilot and why. He wrote about ME!! Yes, me, his mom. Why? He said I’m fearless. (Really? Me?) At first, I thought my 11 year old was plugging easy information into a boring and random question but his answer made me cry and feel proud of him (and me!).
Andrew wrote that I am fearless because of the small things that I do in my everyday life that make other people nervous—like talking in front of a class every day. He said that even though I am old (HA!!!) that I try things like rock climbing and canoeing even if I know that I won’t be good at them.
But he really got me when he wrote this: “She cried at a public reading of one of her essays. She cried in front of all these people and I thought she would be embarrassed. At bedtime she told me she was embarrassed but got over it because her crying was a true feeling. She told me that telling the truth is important. She always tells the truth and so most of all, that makes my mom fearless.”
I’m crying right now trying to finish this post. Isn’t that the most beautiful gift a mom could ever get? But there was more…
I want to remember that Robin called me—actually rang me up on my home phone (!!!) to say happy birthday. I sat in the living room talking and laughing like a teenager with a best friend. It was priceless and thoughtful and serendipitous all in one!
I want to remember that I got over 100 well wishes on Facebook. And I know that happens to lots of people of their birthdays too. But I especially loved the way my wall of messages listed out the names of friends past and present, from my childhood friends to students I had in class last semester. There’s a THIS IS YOUR LIFE feeling to seeing so many names and corresponding little pics, popping up in no particular order to say “Happy Birthday.” It made me feel popular and loved and more a part of the world than I feel on a regular old day.
A huge HUG and a huge THANK YOU to the entire universe for making the first day of my 43rd year SO AWESOME!!
And now, I promise, my birthday is over and I’ll move on.
A mani/pedi combo defines luxury for me. And even though the color and perfection of my nails will be do me no good this time next week (remember the hiking/camping portion of the trip?), I went for it. Plus, I had a birthday gift certificate from a very generous friend.
While I was relaxing with my feet in the bubbly pool of warm water, thanking my friend for knowing THIS was just what I needed AND thanking the universe for giving me a FRIEND who knows THIS is just what I needed, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to let my birthday go just yet.
Besides posting my toes, there are a few special things I want to pass along—acts of kindness towards me on my birthday that deserve a little shout out.
I want to remember Adrienne’s gifts: how she went around the house and collected things that I already own and wrapped them up. She said, “Sometimes it’s fun to see your old stuff as new stuff.” I like that she is so effortlessly profound about a bar of soap from Pier One circa 2007, a mini notebook (already noted on several pages), a painted frame she gave me last year for Mother’s Day AND my 42nd birthday, and a Ziploc of gummi bears.
But then there was the note that she gave me that reminded me how she’s also effortlessly kind. She wrote me a happy birthday greeting and then had HER WHOLE 3rd GRADE CLASS sign too.
I want to remember the “Adopt-a-Pilot” assignment that Andrew did earlier in the year that just happened, on my birthday, to show up in his school “mail” (his homework and other class assignments from the previous week). Andrew was asked to identify a person in his life that reminds him of airline pilot and why. He wrote about ME!! Yes, me, his mom. Why? He said I’m fearless. (Really? Me?) At first, I thought my 11 year old was plugging easy information into a boring and random question but his answer made me cry and feel proud of him (and me!).
Andrew wrote that I am fearless because of the small things that I do in my everyday life that make other people nervous—like talking in front of a class every day. He said that even though I am old (HA!!!) that I try things like rock climbing and canoeing even if I know that I won’t be good at them.
But he really got me when he wrote this: “She cried at a public reading of one of her essays. She cried in front of all these people and I thought she would be embarrassed. At bedtime she told me she was embarrassed but got over it because her crying was a true feeling. She told me that telling the truth is important. She always tells the truth and so most of all, that makes my mom fearless.”
I’m crying right now trying to finish this post. Isn’t that the most beautiful gift a mom could ever get? But there was more…
I want to remember that Robin called me—actually rang me up on my home phone (!!!) to say happy birthday. I sat in the living room talking and laughing like a teenager with a best friend. It was priceless and thoughtful and serendipitous all in one!
I want to remember that I got over 100 well wishes on Facebook. And I know that happens to lots of people of their birthdays too. But I especially loved the way my wall of messages listed out the names of friends past and present, from my childhood friends to students I had in class last semester. There’s a THIS IS YOUR LIFE feeling to seeing so many names and corresponding little pics, popping up in no particular order to say “Happy Birthday.” It made me feel popular and loved and more a part of the world than I feel on a regular old day.
A huge HUG and a huge THANK YOU to the entire universe for making the first day of my 43rd year SO AWESOME!!
And now, I promise, my birthday is over and I’ll move on.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
As long as there's cake...
I grew up with this mantra: "As long as there's cake, it's still your birthday."
Since I got a cake AND a pie this year, I thought for sure I'd celebrate all week long. But, despite the fact that the cake (Lemon Chiffon) was not as decorative or elaborate as what Eric usually makes
Or despite the fact that blueberry pie is not traditional birthday fare,
both are now officially gone--eaten, mowed, scarffed down, shop vac-ed--making my 43rd celebration officially over. Drat.
Eric asked me today why I think I love being the birthday girl so much. "I can't get over how much you like having a birthday" were his exact words.
And it is true that it's something I look forward to all year. But I think it's not for the reasons that some might think. Although I like the dinner out and the gifts the kids get or make, and I like cake and the singing, I'm not crazy about the superficial part of birthdays. It's more than that.
A June birthday means the end of school is near and the beginning of summer is here. My birthday marks the beginning of lazy days in a lawn chair reading a book or sipping ice tea at the pool. It means staying up late into the night, listening to the bugs, sometimes playing flashlight tag. It means I don't have to get up early to pack lunches for a few months and I don't have to deal with homework and book reports and state projects. It means I can wear flip flops, have my windows down when I drive with the music loud. It means a vacation to a sandy spot is probably just around the corner. My birthday is the start of all the stuff that I love most in life.
So the cake AND the pie are gone, but the summer is just beginning...finally!! And that can be celebrated lots more days to come!
Since I got a cake AND a pie this year, I thought for sure I'd celebrate all week long. But, despite the fact that the cake (Lemon Chiffon) was not as decorative or elaborate as what Eric usually makes
Or despite the fact that blueberry pie is not traditional birthday fare,
both are now officially gone--eaten, mowed, scarffed down, shop vac-ed--making my 43rd celebration officially over. Drat.
Eric asked me today why I think I love being the birthday girl so much. "I can't get over how much you like having a birthday" were his exact words.
And it is true that it's something I look forward to all year. But I think it's not for the reasons that some might think. Although I like the dinner out and the gifts the kids get or make, and I like cake and the singing, I'm not crazy about the superficial part of birthdays. It's more than that.
A June birthday means the end of school is near and the beginning of summer is here. My birthday marks the beginning of lazy days in a lawn chair reading a book or sipping ice tea at the pool. It means staying up late into the night, listening to the bugs, sometimes playing flashlight tag. It means I don't have to get up early to pack lunches for a few months and I don't have to deal with homework and book reports and state projects. It means I can wear flip flops, have my windows down when I drive with the music loud. It means a vacation to a sandy spot is probably just around the corner. My birthday is the start of all the stuff that I love most in life.
So the cake AND the pie are gone, but the summer is just beginning...finally!! And that can be celebrated lots more days to come!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Angst and Anxiety
One week from today we leave for our summer trip. Here's the first stop:
It's The Phoenecian in Scottsdale, Arizona. We front loaded the trip with a few days of rest and relaxation because the last five days will be spent here:
We'll depart the Phoenix area with our group--guides and other families signed up through the Austin Lehmam Adventure Travel Company--arrive in Sedona later in the day then take off again to our final destination (in the van, anyway), somewhere around Flagstaff. We'll be hiking each day (sometimes up to 10 miles per trip)and camping outside under the stars amidst red rock and natural waterfalls.
I am very excited to go, but also full of angst and anxiety. I worry that the hiking part of the trip will be too hot or maybe too rigorous for the kids. I worry about what to pack, despite the fact that Austin Lehman has provided a list. I just generally worry. It's my curse.
Deep down I know the trip will be an absolute blast, but the unknowns always haunt me in the middle of the night. I don't want to be without something I need or have too much stuff to carry. It's that balancing act that I've been working on today and will fine tune as the week goes by.
For now, here's the stuff all laid out just waiting for the bags and the final check.
Just six days to go.
It's The Phoenecian in Scottsdale, Arizona. We front loaded the trip with a few days of rest and relaxation because the last five days will be spent here:
We'll depart the Phoenix area with our group--guides and other families signed up through the Austin Lehmam Adventure Travel Company--arrive in Sedona later in the day then take off again to our final destination (in the van, anyway), somewhere around Flagstaff. We'll be hiking each day (sometimes up to 10 miles per trip)and camping outside under the stars amidst red rock and natural waterfalls.
I am very excited to go, but also full of angst and anxiety. I worry that the hiking part of the trip will be too hot or maybe too rigorous for the kids. I worry about what to pack, despite the fact that Austin Lehman has provided a list. I just generally worry. It's my curse.
Deep down I know the trip will be an absolute blast, but the unknowns always haunt me in the middle of the night. I don't want to be without something I need or have too much stuff to carry. It's that balancing act that I've been working on today and will fine tune as the week goes by.
For now, here's the stuff all laid out just waiting for the bags and the final check.
Just six days to go.
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