Ok, ok, ok…
The responses to my bucket list post have been overwhelming. Mostly friends and family are disappointed in my list telling me, “You can do better than that.” Assaults on my imagination have been plentiful.
As I’ve been defending myself with lame excuses (the most popular one being that I wrote the post quickly), I’ve realized that not digging deep into myself comes across as inauthentic and shallow. I’m grateful for the lesson about my own writing that I’m getting today from all of you.
You are all right: I can do better. Recently I completed the Mondo Beyondo class about dreaming big, designed by Jen Lemen and Andrea Scher . The main goal of the class to learn how to identify what you want in life then learn to see the path that connects you to those things. From the very beginning, we work with a bucket list. Not a wimpy bucket list of resolutions that anyone could write, but a MONDO BEYONDO list—stuff that is “off the charts” if you live your life within limits and with rules, but that is otherwise (if you believe in magic and karma and mojo and whatever else describes the collective energy of the universe) totally possible if you just "put it out there."
One of the steps in creating the list, after you have finally broken rules and truly created a MONDO BEYONDO, is to put it away for a few days and forget about it. But ultimately, the list is supposed to be posted, publicized, and shared. How else do really cool things happen to you if nobody knows what you want except you?
It will surprise none of you (the five that I know read this) that I was happy to put my MONDO BEYONDO list in an envelope and hide it away. I did get it back it out when asked by the workshop to do so, but I didn’t post it or share it with anyone.
I have this weird hang up/guilt about asking for anything from this world. I feel blessed by what I have and don’t feel that I’ve adequately thanked the right people and done all the work that I can do to give back for what I have. My therapist friend thinks I need to make an appointment with her (or more professionally correct, to make an appointment with someone else in her field) to GET OVER IT!!! She claims my outlook is a way of blocking myself from truly living. Not to mention that saying, “I’ve got enough, thanks!” is lame and is basically admitting to the world that I am not worthy of good things happening to me.
I have to admit that it does make me a bit uncomfortable to expose my wishes, dreams, and goals for this stage of my life. I don’t know why. When I read the postings of several others in the class at the same time, the idea of feeling nervous about making wishes known consistently showed up on everyone else’s blog. Wherever that angst comes from, for now, I’ll throw it to the wind and share my MONDO BEYONDO list, anyway. Here goes…
--Write a book
--Own a house on the beach
--Give a TED talk
--Meet Ellen Degeneres and become her friend
--Travel with my husband and kids to: Egypt, Galapagos Islands, Italy, Greece, and Spain
--Take a road trip in an RV
--Spend the spring in Hilton Head
--Find a best friend
--Create a really cool blog
--Create a cool blog with my kids that includes video and photography
--Learn video and photography skills for the internet
--Make it to my 100th birthday
--Win the lottery
--Learn to speak Spanish or French
--Learn to speak and write the truth
--Learn to trust my intuition
--Continue practicing yoga (and practicing and practicing!)
--Create time in my schedule for a few moments of contemplative meditation
--Meet some of my favorite writers: Barbara Kingsolver, Ann Patchett, Joan Dideon
--Meet some of my favorite authors: Maya Angelou, Jane Yolen,
--Meet Jen Lemen and Andrea Sher of Mondo Beyondo
--Work with a writing mentor (Hey, Abigail Thomas!)
--Go to a movie premier
--Spend a week at Miraval spa
--Go on a writing retreat (one with other writers and one all alone)
--Spend more time writing and creating
--Keep the flow of inspiration coming
--Take a dance lesson (or two) with Wade Robson
--Take cooking lessons
--Stay true to my sense of adventure
--Document my life
--Become my healthiest self
--Smile and laugh daily
--Stop fighting with time each day, month, year: “being” in the moment is just fine.
--Believe in myself
That’s it for now. As always, send me your thoughts either through facebook or my home email. You all know how to get me. If anyone else randomly found me and wants to comment, send your thoughts to heindena(at) gmail(dot) com. Thanks.
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